All-Star Game and State of the NBA

7:25pm: Coming to you live (and snowed in) from Rosenberger Manor, and we start off with a bang with Harry Connick Jr. and Branford Marsalis to introduce the introduction of the starters with music from the Rebirth Brass Band, who are on some sweet Mardi-Gras looking set with a buncha random, dancing people. One of who is a child in a Ben Gordon jersey. Odd choice there. At second glance, other jerseys include Sam Cassell and Wally Sczerbiak. Equally interesting.

I gotta say, NOLA kicks the shit outta Vegas, simply because it looks like the city actually cares. Last year I think I got a hangover just watching the all-star festivities.

7:28pm: Just got introduced to the East’s athletic trainer. This is something I definitely needed to know. Also just got introduced to the injured Caron Butler and KG. Feel for KG, I hope that they can get him back on the court (supposedly Tuesday). That said, fuck the Celtics. I also have a minor man-crush on Caron Butler, he doesn’t get nearly enough media attention.

7:29pm: Joe Johnson is introduced, leading me into a tangent on the fucking awesome Bibby trade, which I will add to my News/State of the NBA section.

7:30pm: Sheed looks like the only East bench player who cares, dancing it up and shit. Who are you and what have you done with the real Sheed.

In addition, D-Wade looks way too happy to be here, which makes sense, because this is the only time all year he’ll play alongside talented players. I’m predicting 15 pts and 13 assists for him (editors note: 14 and 3. I was close).

7:31pm: I love the West, and they definitely are more talented, but if the East Starters went against the West Starters, shirts-and-skins-play-to-11-win-by-2 I have no doubt the East would win. Even with a healthy Kobe on the West.

7:32pm: We get a version of “Have You Ever Been to New Orleans” by the Brass Band before the West players are introduced. Love the vibe in here; it’s just a big fuck-you to George W. Bush. And then a huge ovation for Chris Paul. I love that man, and I love that city.

7:34pm: Brandon Roy looks pissed. Probably from the bevy of mentions of him as the “on-the-bubble” star all weekend…or maybe because Chris Paul gets all the “savior of a city” press instead of him

7:36pm: How is Duncan always a starter? Who is it that is voting for him? All-star votes should be public record.

And we round it off with some “Saints Go Marching In” What’s that? Oh no, there’s just something in my eye…or I mean, its sorta dusty in here…the glare from the snow is making my eyes water.

Not sure why we have to be subjected to “O Canada.” Because there is a team in Canada? Because there’s a Canadian player? This would be way more fun if every international player had to sing their own national anthem. You’re telling me Dirk singing the German national anthem at the All-Star Game isn’t riveting television?

7:39pm: Oh Canada, we really do stand on guard for thee. Well, I mean we would if you had any oil that interested us.

7:40pm: Three NO natives out to perform the national anthem. Some black dude on guitar, some black lady singing, and Branford Marsalis rockin some tenor sax. Jesus, they really brought the house for this thing. Marvin Gaye is smiling in his grave.

7:43pm: A new “Where Amazing Happens” commercial with pictures from the Habitat for Humanity house-building event that the players (and Stern) participated in this weekend. If Stern were planning to run a last-minute campaign solely on the fact that he’s done more for NOLA than GW ever did, I’d vote for him (even though he is a Hilary contributor). I love that man.

7:48pm: we start with the teams trading turnovers, followed by Kidd finding D-Wade on the break for an open dunk, and then Wade running over to him, kissing him on the mouth and telling him “You’re definitely not Jason Williams and I couldn’t be happier!” Okay I made that up.

Followed by a missed Duncan jumper and a LeBron-to-Howard oop. Awesome

7:53pm: Doug Collins discusses if whether or not Kobe will re-enter the game tonight…even though he said multiple times he would start and then come out after the first time-out so as not to not re-injure his pinkie…gee, thanks for the engaging discussion.

Kidd to LeBron for a sick alley-oop…they really should have gotten a chance to play together, fuck Kidd and Dirk (can’t wait to tell you about the Kidd trade saga).

7:57pm: Melo with a three-point play, jumping out to a quick 5 points. Its fitting that he’s dominating the most meaningless minutes (the first few) of a semi-meaningless game. (He would go on to finish with 18, 15 coming in the first half)

7:59pm: I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat because I forget what life was like before Wade was in Chuck’s five.

8:00pm: D-Wade Gatorade commercial with Lou Reeds “walk on the wild side” as music. Definitely adds to the gay conversation on freedarko (in the dunk contest post…which is life-alteringly good)

8:02pm: Duncan has missed two shots badly and dropped two passes in the first 7 minutes. I love it.

8:06pm: Hamilton-to-Billups is followed closely by Billups-to-Hamilton is followed closely by a Wallace three. I forgot that these guys aren’t boring. They need to be freed from the tyranny of Flip and Defense, and it needs to be done soon.

8:13pm: Pierce with the step-back, Dirk with the fadeaway…boring. Amare drills a three, nice!

8:15pm: First quarter ends with the East leading 34-28. Not a bad game so far, but they haven’t hit a rhythm yet, and I’m not sure they will. Although not as many turnovers as there have been in games of late.

8:19pm: Reggie Miller is commending Ainge for recognizing that Rivers was a great coach that just didn’t have great players. Fall back man, with those three dudes, fuckin anyone could have the best record in the league.

8:20pm: Paul with the teardrop off the glass over Howard. No one can mention enough times how good he is.

8:28pm: Extended commercial break followed by some boring play, then Brandon Roy hits a jumper and a three right away. I want to not like Roy, but I really do enjoy him. He’s got this weird totally vanilla-yet-still-exciting element to his game.

8:29pm: LeBron with one of those come-off-the-screen-at-the-top-of-the-key-take-two-steps-and-draw-the-foul-and-hit-the-layup, always love to see that.

8:30pm: LeBron oops to Howard and then Howard returns the favor. If you could show pictures of these guys to James Naismith and tell him this was the future of basketball, he would have literally shit his pants right? Meanwhile, Paul hits a three, followed by LeBron hitting a three. I have no doubt that LeBron could score 50 in this game if he really wanted to, even if everyone was playing tough D. As it stands he has 12 pts 5 assists with 6 to go in the 2nd quarter.

8:32pm: Paul oops off the board to Roy, Roy misses the dunk badly, that’s what happens when you’re 6’5, pretty much a white guy, and have bad feet to top it off.

8:37pm: Just showed the stat that Howard’s 185 dunks this season is more than 14 NBA TEAMS. That is by far his most impressive stat.

8:41pm: Nothing exciting really going on in the game, so I’m going to take this time to pour one out for my favorite players who aren’t in this game:

B-Diddy, Captain Jack, Josh Smith, Gerald Green (free the man, Whitman!), Big Al, Sam Cassell, Kevin Martin, Mike Bibby, Salmons, Acie Law, Durant, Bynum, Gay, Deron Williams, Agent Zero, Korver

8:47pm: At half, the score is 74-65 East. Much better than last year, at least, but fairly uneventful. Roy leads the West with 11 pts, LeBron and Howard lead the East with 12. Early MVP frontrunner is LeBron. Pretty standard shit really…LeBron runnin shit, Howard enforcing, balanced play from the West, not enough running.

Although the East is doing a shitload of running, which makes sense. The West, as teams go, runs more because the teams are centered around a star, and then the rest of the team is built to run. Not the case in the East, however all of the East stars are floor-runners.

9:20pm: Back after an extended halftime show. Nice performace from a bevy of NOLA institutions, such as Dr. John, a few Marsalis’, and Harry Connick, who is apparently the de facto voice of New Orleans.

Which reminds me: there’s a new commercial with Connick talking about how NO is “his city,” going around to relief efforts and such. I understand that it is his home town, but I don’t know, I mean I gotta be careful with the black-love, but don’t you think that the de facto voice of NO should be a little darker? Its not really a huge problem, I just feel it would be much more powerful for someone like Marsalis, or even someone who’s career has been a little more “New Orleans” (Dr. John, Emeril, etc.)

The point is: easy listening jazz does not = New Orleans in any way.

Of course, I’m also a suburban whitey trying to make judgment on what should go on in New Orleans…why don’t I just move on.

9:22pm: Like I said before, the East is running the shit out of the ball, which I gotta say is exciting when it involves Kidd, LeBron, Wade, Bosh and Howard. The West all-stars really do suck in a pickup environment, right now they have Yao, Duncan, AI, Melo, and Nash on the floor. I love Nash, but theres only so much he can do with four guys who have fairly dinstinctly half-court games.

Which is part of why the East will rise again. With the exception of Kidd, the only mass exodus has involved midlevel stars (like Gasol). That’s fine, the West can take those guys, because what will happen is that when the East frees up cap space and keeps taking good draft picks (if, not when) and taking the West’s role players, they are gonna fill their teams with these role players to complement the bevy of stars they already have. The East is young (Howard! LeBron! Wade!) and unbelievably talented, the sky is the limit for them, as long as the GMs stop being retarded.

Also, people will remember (or realize) how good Wade is once again. He annoys me with all the flopping and shit, but if you wanna talk about the “next Jordan” in terms of style of play? He is by far the closest. I mean, LeBron is definitely the “next Jordan” in terms of (hopefully) killer instinct and sheer will to win/take a team on his shoulders, but his style is more an amalgamation of Magic/Jordan/Bird (like a really black, freak-of-nature, athletic Bird, at times). It’s hard to argue Wade’s will to win when his team is 9-34, but I’ll still ride for him (I think) in the future. Losing Shaq is the start of liberation for him, and it will keep going when (hopefully) he gets Beasley to run with. Plus they could keep Marion. Plus they’ll always get talent in Miami because for tax reasons (everyone wants to play there). Plus Riley is getting old and may retire this year. I’m giddy.

9:24pm: LeBron is like a kid in a candy store lobbing to Howard. We’ve said it before, motherfucker doesn’t need a PG, he is the PG, he needs an athletic Center…and a shooter…and a competent GM…and for Dolan and Isiah to get the hell out of New York and pave the way for him to save the Knicks…

9:26pm: Its 7 minutes into the 3rd and we have our first mention of Theo Ratliffs Expiring Contract (in reference to the stars heading to Boston)!!!!! One of the highlights of an uneventful game.

9:28pm: This is really non-conducive to a running diary. Great city, decent announcing, solid but uneventful play. In regards to the play, everyone says that the ASG has gone to crap, but I’m not so sure. Watching this, I get the vibe that this is what pick-up ball would look like with these guys anyways. With nothing on the line, this is what you get-not a lot of defense, and a lot of missed shots (til crunch time, I hope)

9:41pm: The last 3 minutes of the third quarter consist of Ray Allen gunning threes and Paul Pierce taking fadeaways. I can’t tell you how much I hope they lose in the playoffs. I can’t handle these two in the finals. We’re a far cry from Paul-as-martyr and Jesus Shuttlesworth.

9:48pm: Amare drives around Howard and posterizes him. By far the highlight of the night.

9:56pm: With 5 minutes to go, the West has climbed back and tied the game, and now its getting good. I love to watch the entire game, but I certainly can’t refute the fact that the last quarter is the best to watch in the NBA. I think its alright to admit that.

10:02pm: Riveting stuff here, but Dirk is ruining it by generally being. He did just airball a three though, that was nice. Chris Paul really wants to win this game, but I’m predicting right now that he goes for a game-winning play, it doesn’t work, and LeBron hits a game-winner completely effortlessly.

10:03pm: Stoudemire is really bringing it right now. Rejects Wade from behind on one end, and then hits an unreal and-one drawing the foul from Howard, who he is just abusing right now.

10:04pm: Allen with another three. YOU’RE TOO OLD AND NO LONGER RELEVANT TO ME RAY.

10:05pm: Roy with a sweet layup on an assist from Paul. These two are really reppin’ the youth movement. As Allen hits another three. I hate veterans.

10:06pm: Allen with his third three in a row. I think he just looked into the camera and said “Fuck you Andy Rosenberger” but I can’t be sure.

10:09 pm: Paul drills a three to tie it. If this becomes Paul vs. Allen I just hope Paul comes out the winner.

10:10pm: LeBron takes it all the way to the rack and throws it down and go up by two with a minute left! Complete with a forearm to Dirk’s face. Immediately following, Paul tries to drive and dish and gets an offensive foul. I’m like the reverse Nostradamus (I predicted it the other way around)

10:11pm: Wade with an and-one but misses the free throw, then comes back and stuffs a Dirk three right back into his face. DIRK RUINS EVERYTHING.

10:15pm: Game ends with the East winning 134-128. Very entertaining fourth quarter, which made it worth it. Overall, a very good all-star game. Probably the most star-laden in recent memory, although you get the all-star game dead weight of Yao, Duncan, Dirk chewing up minutes for the West. LeBron is named MVP with a 27-9-8-2-2 game. Most importantly he beat out Ray Allen. Nice. Below is the news you missed, plus a brief state of the league.

BIBBY TO THE CRIME MOB!!!
For next to nothing (Shelden, Lue, Anthony Johnson, Lorenzen Wright…and possibly a pick). BIBBY&JOEJOHN&JSMOOVE&MARVIN&AL. FREE THE CRIME MOB. I could knock it a little because Bibby is a shoot-first guy, but don’t forget that he led a team with Peja, Webber, and Doug Christie to the conference finals. The man can get it done. I’m really pumped about this, especially because all they gave up was dead weight. And the trade was made by FUCKING BILLY KNIGHT. Again, people forget that he was one of the leaders of a playoff contender. With this lineup, I think they are definitely a team that can win a playoff series and make noise in the East. The only teams in the conference that are definitely, no-doubt better are Boston, Detroit, and Orlando. Unfortunately I don’t see the new Mob beating any of them in a series. BUT if they can sneak into the 4 or 5 spot, they could get the Wiz, Cavs, or Raptors, and that would be interesting.

THE KIDD SAGA
So Kidd gets traded to the mavs for like 5 guys, but then it gets cockblocked by…THE SHAQ OF THE MIAC BABY!! He vetoed it on account of his Bird Rights (wiki it, I don’t understand it either), and then Stack mouthed off about how the Nets were planning to buy him out and he’d return to Dallas in 30 days, so the league got pissed and vetoed that (point, Stern). Anyways, they supposedly have pretty much worked it out.

Not sure how I feel about this. Will be nice to see Kidd play with a sweet supporting cast, but I can’t ride for Avery and Dirk. Never. I do like Cuban, but I never want to see those two win a title, and I feel like this is careening towards that. Although I still like the Warriors to beat them in a series, but I think this Mavs team beats New Orleans…I really only see LA, Golden State, and maybe Utah beating this team in the west, and that depresses me.

GAMES
Game-wise the only real excitement came from Warriors-Suns, which was a 120-117 affair in a victory for the Warriors. The internets went nuts about it, especially FD, but it felt decidedly empty for me without Marion on the Suns. That sorta cheapened it for the Warriors (in my opinion) and made me even more depressed about the Shaq trade. Barbosa missed a game-winning three, and it really felt like a passing of the revolutionary torch, from the Suns to the Warriors. I think this Warriors team is poised to do big things, I really do. If they can hold on to Pietrus and keep him happy for the rest of the season, that will be huge, and Barnes is steadily improving. Then again I may once again be placing all my hopes on a fleeting wish. Its about the ride my friend, its all about the ride. Happy NBA second half.